Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
soo... how was my night?
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