My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
