Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
