is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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