woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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