she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
