Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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