I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
