Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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