i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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