the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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