You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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