I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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