Sponge bath it is.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
