I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
