I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
