It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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