You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
