maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize