Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
