i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize