She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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