as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
