he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
