i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
