shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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