My nipple is on Facebook.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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