He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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