your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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