I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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