No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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