my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
