PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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