Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize