You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she smelled like a LAN party
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't deserve a penis
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
