I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
