Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize