I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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