8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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