you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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