The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
