He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The air was thick with penises
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize