I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
