just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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