Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
