whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
