Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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