That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
