they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
