"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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