I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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