People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
