Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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