what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
