Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize