I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
