i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize