P.S. I can't hear my feet
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
